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Twas The Sale Before Christmas
by Peter Rathmann on December 18th, 2016

‘Twas the day before Christmas in all accounts of the house, not a buyer was stirring, not even the one named Klaus.  

The latest proposals were all sent with the greatest of flare, in hopes that an answer soon would be shared.

The sales team was all out partaking at the pub, with visions of their bonus checks that could buy them hot tubs. 

With the CFO's spreadsheets and the new Presidents' greeting, we had just settled in for a long afternoon meeting.

When out in the entry way, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the table to hear all the chatter.  

Away to the railing I flew like the flash, ignoring the emails and messages on my smart phones front dash.

The LED lighting on the mopped entry way tiles, gave way to a view that could blind a delivery man for miles.  

When what to my eyes should suddenly appear, but the FedEx guy with a package held near.

The little old driver, so lively and quick, brought forth the package past our doorman named Rick.  

Faster than a cashed expense check he walked through the Christmas card forest, where he whispered my name to our gatekeeper named Doris.

"Now sign here and initial there to take this here packet" the delivery man said before you could read the name "Phil" on his jacket.

As the signatures were completed and the packet was shifted, I suddenly felt my holiday spirit get lifted.  

So up to the office Doris did come, with the packet in hand as she asked "what smells like rum?"

And then with a twinkling, I heard from the people in the field, that this packet could be from the prospect whose bid we sent sealed.  

As I took the packet from Doris's hand, I could not help but think of the sale that might just land.

The packet was white with purple and green, just like the one that was received around Halloween.  

The label was large with writing that said "please open" as I hoped that the sale was not dead.

It's tear strip was there just waiting to be ripped by my nervous hands that could barely keep a grip.  

With a cookie in my mouth and my tie loosened around my neck, I quickly opened the packet as I whispered "What the heck!"

To my wondrous surprise in the enclosed packet, was a signed letter of intent from the prospect that killed my final four bracket.  

It started with "Please be informed" and some other kind words, that made us feel like our solution had been heard.

It was perfect timing for bonuses I thought to myself, what a great opportunity had presented itself.  

With a wink of my eye and a twist of my head, I turned to the team as they waited for what was to be said.

I spoke not a word but made a simple gesture, I pointed my finger to the air as they knew I was a jester.  

The number one sign I made with my finger, as I looked up to the sky like that terrible person on the Voice that thought they were a singer.

As the CFO updated his spread sheet and the president like an infant girls screamed, the news of the closed sale spread throughout the team.  

But I knew down deep from the sales training we went through, that my sales goal for next year would now be increased by a multiple of two.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!


Posted in Sales Parody, Sales Training    Tagged with Sales Parody, Christmas, Sales, Customers, Bonus


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